Working with volunteers has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and has also forced me to face some of my deepest issues. It all started in the spring of 2014. I was transitioning from leading a faith community to directing Holy Language Institute and was overwhelmed with the workload. I even switched to a polyphasic sleeping schedule in which I slept three hours at night and took three short powernaps throughout the day, just to give myself extra time. Polyphasic sleeping actually worked really well for me and I ended up doing it for over a year but I was still maxed out so I sent an SOS email asking for help. To my relief a few students heroically stepped forward and began taking over tasks like emails and administration, freeing me to teach and do the things that only I could do. I'll never forget how deeply touching it was to be supported like that. It was a defining moment to realize I couldn't accomplish my mission alone and to discover just how much I enjoyed working with friends. I was reminded of the Scripture, "God is for me through my helpers!"

I decided to create a volunteer system so I spent the next year reading dozens of the most forward-thinking books about organizational theory, complex systems, self-management, remote work, and hot groups. I'm afraid of nerding out on you right now because I actually get really excited about systems but I'll control myself and just share one thing. I came across this one idea of patterning organizations after organisms so that your people work together the way the body works. It made sense, considering the human body is the most advanced system in the universe. Why wouldn't its simple yet sophisticated principles work in multi-bodied organisms too? For instance, the body is a network of interdependent organs that each do a job. This theory recommended breaking down everything that needed doing into individual roles or "ministries" as we went on to call them, and then putting the people who filled related ministries into circles or "groups". Or think about how the body grows from a genetic code and how all its processes are rooted in its DNA. In our case that meant putting each ministry into writing. Notice also how nerves and veins run throughout the body and back to the head and the heart. Likewise, it needed to be easy to get around on our system and communicate so that information and inspiration could flow freely.

It was with these principles in mind that I designed the first iteration of our system. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. We chose to call our volunteers 'Stewards' to celebrate the humble and responsible  attitude that had already become the hallmark of our emerging volunteer culture. Then in the fall of 2014 I sent an email asking our tribe to take over running HLI so I could focus on teaching. Over the course of the next year we took on over 50 new Stewards! I admit, it was rather chaotic. Some people thrived in our open system which encouraged creative initiative and self-management, but for those who just wanted to be told what to do it was too much. I compared it to throwing people into a pool. The swimmers had a great time but the other half just sank to the bottom and ended up doing nothing. We continued this way for the next several years with a core group of Stewards that ran the Institute and pulled off some remarkable projects while on the periphery people came and went. All the while I continued to read, experiment, and make improvements. It really was an exciting time.

You may or may not have heard of Yeshua Groups, the network of storytelling groups I started in the fall of 2017. Either way, after we got the network off the ground I created another volunteer system to keep it running, similar to what we'd already developed but as simple and light as possible. Then early 2018 we took on another 30 volunteers! I dubbed them Legends because I truly believed what we were accomplishing together was historic and legendary. I was working on Yeshua Groups on the side so I didn't have time to write out detailed instructions for each ministry and was hoping that these new Legends would develop their own ministries and that the whole thing would just materialize. As it turns out, the opposite happened and by the fall of 2019 no one was doing anything except our sturdy administrator who kept the most critical ministries going.

The long, cold winter of 2018 to 2019 was our lowest point. The Legends had gone inactive, some of our best Stewards had left, and my health was so broken that I could only work a few hours a day before blacking out. We were just barely keeping the lights on. I took a Sabbatical to recover, review our history, and search my own heart as a leader. I'll share the personal side of that in my next story and tell you about the systemic side here. I realized that it was unrealistic to expect our volunteers to come up with everything on their own. They were willing to help, but had limited time and no development experience. What most of them wanted was just to be given something to do and told how to do it. I had idealized about being manager-free, imagining that everyone would manage themselves and follow the written processes for everything, but what ended up happening is that processes got skipped and management devolved to me. And I suck as a manager.

With these insights I began rebuilding from rock bottom. First, I stopped cutting corners and spent every Friday for the next year writing detailed instructions for all twenty-four Yeshua Groups ministries. Second, I created managers groups for both organizations to carry the load that up until then had fallen on my shoulders. One ministry reviewed volunteer applications, onboarded the newbies, and removed retirees. Another followed up with non-reporting volunteers. There was a ministry that oversaw the processes involved with volunteers stepping up to fill new ministries and stepping down if they were done, and I put another ministry in charge of recruiting when a ministry needed to be filled. Not long into this I was struck with a dilemna. There's a hard side and a soft side to management - you're not just taking care of business, you're also taking care of people. The ministries I just listed would run our operations, but I also had several more relational ministries in mind. How were we going to stuff all that into one group? I solved the problem by forming a second group dedicated to volunteer care. The pastoral ministry built relationships and offered prayer and counselling. The encouragement ministry kept our eyes on the vision and cheered us on. Another ministry announced birthdays and celebrated workaversaries, while yet another hosted our volunteer groups and made them warm and welcoming places.

I worked on this for the rest of that long, cold winter and on into the summer. We were still barely keeping the lights on and I was still sick and carrying the weight of several heart-crippling tragedies in my personal life, but I also felt hope. I thought about God crafting the body of Adam before he came alive and wondered if this was how it felt. Finally, in the summer of 2019 I invited our tribe to fill these new ministries and they responded beautifully. I started by filling the ministry that would review applications and onboard new stewards, and then stepped back and let them take over. What a relief to feel the burden of management lifting from my shoulders and what a joy to watch these new groups come to life and revitalize everything! The long months were worth it.

It wasn't until the next spring in 2020 that I finished the new Yeshua Groups system and was ready to take on a new generation of volunteers. Again our community responded enthusiastically, I started by putting managers in charge, and suddenly we had fifteen Legends ready to run the network! I thought about how God must have felt when Adam finally came alive, and I smiled.

It's been years since then and things are stable and growing. We usually have around fifty volunteers and I love them so much. There's more I could share but this story is getting long. I especially wish I could tell you more about the processes we've innovated and how our circles of Stewards and Legends have developed their own cultures over time! But we both know how excited I get about systems so I'll control myself and just say this - if you would like to nerd out with me, some of our processes are mapped out in the volunteer orientation documents I wrote and you're welcome to read them at the links below. And as for the culture, you'll just have to volunteer and experience it firsthand. ;)

In our next story I'll share my personal reflections on working with volunteers and how it's forced me to face some of my deepest issues. Sincerely, thank you for spending this time. And if you're one of our volunteers, this story's for you!

Inner Work

In our last story I told you how I started with working with volunteers and created our innovative system. In this one I'll share how the experience has been for me personally, especially how I've grown through it.

Working with volunteers has forced me to face two of my deepest fears. One of those fears is losing my loved ones. I'm very relational and I love getting to know people. I actually really enjoy working relationships for that reason, because there's nothing like striving shoulder to shoulder for a great cause to see each other's true colours. The problem is that I love hard and deep and I get attached. I guess that's not a problem, but it does make it hard when people come and go and, as I mentioned in the previous story, we had a relatively high turnover rate for several years there. I try to practice the discipline of separating between my personal and professional life but all too often the two get mixed up as my volunteers become my friends and vice versa. Again, not saying that's bad but it does make it hard when life happens and people need to move on. After a couple years of this I hit a low point. I was struggling to keep my heart soft and open toward newcomers and not just see them as people who would one day be gone. What brought me back to life was two realizations that I began telling myself regularly. Izzy, you love because that's who you are. And Izzy, love is worth it regardless. It also helped to practice relating in the moment and simply enjoying each interaction for what it was.

My other fear is having people drop me on my face. I usually prefer to work independently and do things myself because I hate it when people fail me. Maybe I have trust issues, or it might be related to how hard I try to come through for the people who need me. Whatever the case may be, working with volunteers has certainly struck at this little Achilles heel of mine. While most of our volunteers have been exceptionally reliable, we have had the occasional person who couldn't follow instructions, or ghosted their ministry never to be heard from again, or threw everything in the air and walked away with no advance notice and left us scrambling to clean up the mess and find a replacement. I don't know if some of these people never had a job before or if they thought that poopy work was ok as long as it was being done for God and not a corporate boss, but these situations were certainly opportunities for deep inner work on my part. Staying calm, practicing selflessness and inner detachment, keeping the commandment to not murder anyone, and remaining respectful enough to not joke that you get what you pay for. These were a few of the opportunities afforded, along with the hardest of all: facing my fear of being let down and choosing to practice trust. Instead of allowing a bad experience to sour my view of humanity, stopping to realize just how many good experiences I've had.

While we're at it I'll confess another issue I've been forced to face. I can be perfectionistic and controlling. Ok, that was two. But they go together, especially when you create an open system and then turn it over to volunteers to run. My work is my art, so allowing other people into that has been difficult for me. At the same time though, our whole volunteer system has become its own beautiful and ever-changing masterpiece. And it hasn't just been a system, either - it's people, and delicately interlaced relationships, and the imprints they're leaving on the lives of so many people I could never touch on my own. Seeing my colleagues come through with their own creative genius, learning to collaboratively create new art, trusting and letting go, becoming more open to surprises and the unexpected, sharing vulnerably with an inner circle, allowing myself to lean on those around me...all these experiences have made me more human, more alive, more free. Confronting my own fears and issues hasn't been fun, but it has been worth it. So to each of my colleagues who have given me the opportunity for inner work and have helped make me a better man, thank you.

Speaking of colleagues, the Hebrew word for 'fellow' also means 'friend' and 'shepherd' and that's definitely been my experience. Our volunteers have not only become dear friends, they've also functioned as my thinktank and circle of counsellors. Many times I've submitted questions and pending decisions and they brought the tough questions, honest input, and moral support I needed. Who knows, maybe sometimes I've been able to speak into their lives and volunteering has helped them grow too! I really do love seeing people find themselves and discover their superpowers. One fun thing we do to get to know new volunteers is have them pick an animal that pictures a strength or quirky trait of theirs. In some cases those even go on to become their nicknames. I chose the pitbull because they're happy and laidback, but they're also incredibly tenacious and once they lock in they don't let go. We also have applicants do a Myers-Briggs personality test which I've found to be enormously helpful in understanding myself and other people. (I'm an ENFJ and if you know what you are let me know!) 

And speaking of personality types, remember in the previous story I told you about that low point we hit when I took a Sabbatical to self-audit and soul-search? One item of input that our Directors gave was that we give less attention to personality and more to character. The journey that transpired from that one piece of advice is a story all its own and one that's still unfolding as I write this and yes, I'll tell it to you in more detail later. The short version is that I began studying Mussar, a genre of Jewish literature focused on inner work, character development, and discipline. One more beautiful thing that grew from rock bottom.

I've honestly wished I could find an organization I really believe in where I could volunteer and experience what our volunteers are getting in on, but my observations are that such opportunities are pretty rare. In another way though I guess I have volunteered with Holy Language Institute and Yeshua Groups, considering I'm in the thick of it every day and have personally created and at some point filled every one of the more than forty ministries we have going. Also this is kind of neat, I do have a specific ministry I personally fill - the birthdays and anniversaries ministry. When it's a volunteer's birthday or workaversary with us I get on our Marco Polo video group and express the specific things I appreciate about that person and invite our other volunteers to join me in showing them some love. I feel like it's a ministry that fits me well.

So now that I've told you about all my issues and problems, it's your turn to tell me about yours haha! But really, if you're looking for opportunities to do deeper inner work, consider volunteering. Learn more about volunteering below.

And if you have volunteered, thank you again for everything - the good, the bad, and the ugly. It has all been a gift and like I said has given me the opportunity to work on myself and become a more loving, humble, authentic, and hopefully beautiful human.

And thank you God.